Wand Targets, #3

“I’d never eat out alone.” Countless women–and men–have voiced this one, implying that if they had a magic wand they’d never have to shovel pasta alone again. Eating lunch with my daughter, we overheard the man at the next table lamenting, “It’s just awful. I can handle lunch alone, but dinner . . . ”

The underlying assumption is “I must be some poor, lonely loser if I can’t find someone with whom to have lunch/dinner.” Maybe you flash back to the lunch table, ousted by the mean girls. There was a time in our culture when single diners, especially women, were treated poorly by restaurant staff. Stereotypically shuttled to the worst table, where they would be banged in the head by the swinging kitchen door.

One of my greatest ways to refuel is to take my current book and eat on a patio in pleasant weather. I rather like my own company, people watching or enjoying a good story. Eating alone says nothing more about me than that I am eating alone. It’s all a state of mind. No need for self-talk that eating alone is pitiful; reframe it as the quiet time you desperately desire.

While we’re addressing expectations, you might want to add Eat Chocolate Naked Week to your list to celebrate. Are you sick of the conventional definition of beauty, and shamed into hiding because of some perceived lack in your appearance or size? This looks like a wonderful opportunity to redefine beauty in a way that works for you.

7 thoughts on “Wand Targets, #3

  1. Karen says:

    Thanks for the heads up on Eat Chocolate Naked Week; I watched the video and will tweet it and post on my Facebook page tomorrow!

  2. Vivienne McNeny says:

    Eating chocolate naked huh? Shall we try that at the shack? Oh, naked on your own! I get it!!
    I have to admit I would never go into a restaurant on my own and eat. But I will take my lunch outside on my patio and eat alone and yes, read my latest book.
    Great advice Ann, only the lonely soul at the table does bring back sad school memories of being sent to Coventry…

  3. Deb B says:

    You know it has never bothered me to eat alone – I don’t particularly enjoy it, but I don’t hate it either. (Going to the movies alone is pretty bad though). Maybe that’s because we never had the mean girls and cool table thing in going on in our high schools.

    I’m not sure I’m ready to eat chocolate naked though! I can’t afford the new clothes!!

  4. Kimberly says:

    Thank you for the wonderful shout out about Eat Chocolate Naked Week. I so appreciate your support.

    I used to think eating alone at a restaurant was strange but I must admit, there is nothing better than sitting alone with a good book, enjoying good food and being in your own company. 😉

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